The Universe is giving us a sign. The planet is teaching us how to breathe again.

I calmed myself down for a moment. I slowed myself and stopped running. What  I  was running for? What  I was running from?


The last few days I was thinking about writting a new post on  the actual situation and the lessons we should learn from it.

Suddenly I woke up  with the  need to get out of the house and enjoy the spring. But I couldn t do it anymore. That day has come. The day when I couldn t enjoy my everyday walks ended. There is a bad dream we are living that does not allow us to get out of teh house. They call it a virus, but can I call it a sign? Can I call it a lesson (or actually more) from which we should all learn?
I found myself trapped inside my house since 6 days ago already. I only went out for emergency only, but this is not the point.


There are some other things I want to talk about that I realized while opening my eyes in the morning trapped in my housed.
First of them is that I learnt how to stop for a bit. To give myself a well-deserved break that I didn t take in forever. I was always running for something to get, I was always running from something not to get or feel: responsabilities, truth, comfort zone, self love. I was trying to fill in the void inside my heart by not facing the reality. I closed my eyes so I couldn t see the reflection of who I was becoming. Was it real? Is that the person I wanted to be? The answer was NO.
I was running from the lesson I learnt from the past experiences because I considered that they were enough. They were not. I thought that better things were coming, but they were not. Or maybe...

I saw myself trapped inside a life I didn t like. I wasted money on buying food that  I later threw it away just because I was too lazy to prepare it myself. I lied myself that I didn t have time so that I could get covered. Covered from myself. But that changed, two things changed: I realized that I can buy enough food for a few days and that I could give myself time and patience to cook it so I won t throw it away because there are lots of people who need it more than I do...
Giving yourself time like preparing a salad may also mean giving yourself time to be with yourself, to relieve yourself from the weight you are carrying inside you heart. Remember that you do not deserve to carry the heavy of the world within you.

The second one is to give myself patience. Even if it is a bit, it is important. It is something I thought I couldn t get, but I am learning from it every day. Patience to love myself more and heal from a heart I didn break.
 I am patient with the lady from the grocery store that is scanning my food. She must be tired from waking up every day to serve us without any mask or protection, but I didn t know that a few days ago when I was judging her for moving too slowly.
I am learning not to judge them anymore. My lack of patience is not their fault. I do have problems but it is not only me, we all have them. So, let s breathe again, Andreea (this time with a mask over your mouth), and use the last piece of  your not-so-patient-broken-heart. Give love and patience because we are all facing a bad reality. We are all in this together, so we should be kind. This is maybe one of the most important lesson I am still learning from this. Loving the others and respecting them, sharing kindness as much as other people have showed to me before. It s not only me on this planet, so I could put more effort.



The third one is how important  the people and the things that I have are to me. I can see clear now that I am surrounded by wonderful people who were trying to teach me so many beautiful lessons that I was avoiding by complaing about how BAD my life is. It is NOT. It is wonderful and what a shame it is that we realize it the moment we start losing something. Something as precious as the gift of beeing free.
How beautiful it is to be surrounded by a family that loves you more than anything in the world and could give their lives for you, friends who accept you the way that you are, protect you from the harm of the world, support you through bad times and laugh at your stupid jokes late at night, by colleagues who understand your madness beacause they are as mad as you are, sing and dance with you on the same song over and over again, accept your mad ideas and love you just the way you are?
This may be a privilege not many of us can find during their lifetime. This is a gift from God and it is His way of telling us that He loves us even if we forgot how to love ourselves and the others.
 Stop for a bit and open your eyes to see how blessed you are. Shame on you that you  realized it today.


I was trying to fill in the void inside my heart by avoiding the truth. Sometimes healing yourself means hurting yourself and the people around you. Somtimes healing means breaking. Sometimes opening your eyes means close them for a moment. Sometimes being good means being better with yourself first.


The part about the virus that suddenly extended all over the world makes me a bit surprised because of two things:
The first one is that before this happened I was wondering how it is possible to live so safe in a world where people eat with their bare hands after they touched dirty things? Isn t the button of responsability activated inside their brain? Do they have one? Well, I got the answer now...


The second one is why are we told how to wash our hands at this age? We live in the 21st century, weren t we supposed to know how and when to clean our hands? And not only our hands, people...
Unfortunately, the world is learning a big lesson right now and that is that we are not thought in school how to wash our hands and how important the hygiene is, we are not thought how to clean or prepare our food before eating it. But we are thought instead how to solve maths problems, but not our personal problems, how many animals are on the planet but not how to protect them, how many countries are on the Earth but not how to  protect their beauty and neither how to gain money to go see them. We are thought how to memorize a poem but not the meaning of it, we live not so logically and neither with passion.
We use our brain to follow the same road everyday but not to stop for a bit and think about ourselves or take another road. We became robots of a society that is now meant to function this way: brainless and heartless.
Shall we force ourselves to feel again? To feel a bit more intense? Shall we activate the button of our brain to do things differently?


I have never thought that there will be a day when I couln t see my parents, my friends and colleagues because of something like this. Anyway, I am grateful that I do have the opportunity to do my work from home (something that I used to hate but now I have to enjoy) because other people have already lost their jobs, I am so grateful to be protected and have food and water at home enough so I won t expose myself. It s not the same for the people who have to work everyday being exposed to the disease. I am grateful that for the moment my parents are safe even though my father is one of the vulnerable people right now. I am safe and for this am grateful.

I am grateful because I am still able to keep in touch with my beloved ones, I am grateful because they care about me as I muchas as I care about them. These are some hard moments that help me realize who stands by me and of what am I so afraid of. Afraid of the truth.
I miss my old life and I realize that I took it for granted. This is the most valuable lesson we should learn. DO NOT TAKE FOR GRANTED ALL THE GOOD THINGS IN YOUR LIFE. Being healty and safe, and loved are only a few of the so-called things that we have.

 We live in an era where everything is so advanced, the brain is developed to solve unbelievable problems but not how to wash our hands or how to sneeze and cough? Isn t it funny? Aren t we stupid after all?
Should we use our hearts instead? Do we still have one? Do we know how to use it?


What I am trying to say is that we should stay kind and patient and smart, to love  each other while keeping the distance. This again shall pass and we will love again even stronger, and we will breathe again even more...